The Best Fur Guide - Guide for Conker's Bad Fur Day

Scroll down to read our guide named "The Best Fur Guide" for Conker's Bad Fur Day on Nintendo64 (N64), or click the above links for more cheats.

This guide is partially taken from an official guide who will remain nameless.
It is NOT copied word for word, and it IS dedicated to all of those ignorant gamers 
that write an FAQ, but can't spell anything right. Nonny, this one is for you.......

Conker's Bad Fur Day
This game is the raunchiest, sauciest, sickest, most delectable game ever made by 
Rareware. In my opinion, it's also the coolest. This game will take you on top of 
mountains of poo to six feet under in the grave. You can be anything from a cow-poke 
to an organized crime lord. Hey, they should call you Conker Capone. So, grab your 
frying pan and kiss your rock-monster girlfriend goodbye, you are about to embark on 
a journey for the ages. Over 17,of course.
                            !CONKER'S BAD FUR DAY! 

Table of Contents

1. Legal crud (MAN, I HATE LAWYERS!!!!)
2.Conker's bad controls
3.Hungover (we all have these days, except we don't have a video game)
4.Windy region (No, the wind between your legs does not apply here)
5.Barn Boys (wasn't your mother raised in a barn?)
6.Bats Tower (No, you can't find Grandmas hanging around here)
7.Sloprano (is this the hit HBO show or a section in a choir?)
8.Uga Buga (who is letting these freaks run around in Togas?)
9.Spooky (this is the funniest chapter)
10.It's War!!! (I still don't know what I've been do do do)
11.Heist (get the "Conker Capone" crack now?)
12. Endgame crud.
13. Multiplayer crap
14. Weapons controls
15. Conker's New Bad Sequel?!

1.Legal crud

Permission is granted to ONLY the following sites to display my FAQ: ONLY!!!!!!!!!

This site has given me alot, even in it's infancy. Now they are giving me the chance 
to write something for them. Plagerism sucks, and if you are caught doing it, I will 
sew you and your momma. NO JOKE THERE KIDDIES!!!!!
YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You may, at anytime, e-mail me about this game, but please, CHECK THIS GUIDE 

2.Conkers Bad Controls

Analog Stick- Makes Conker run/walk/tiptoe (depending on how hard you push the stick)
Z button- Crouch/ Fire Shotgun (you get it later in the game)
Start- Pause the game
L button- Skip a cutscene ( you have to watch at least once)
R button- Look around in first-person mode
C up- Zoom camera
C left/ C right- Rotate camera in respective directions
C down- Align camera
B button- Use basic attack/ Frying pan (Obtain in Hungover)
A button- Jump/ Funny helicoptery tail thingy. (Get in Hungover)
Z button+ A button- Super jump

The game starts out when you are in the Cock and Plucker, getting hammered with your 
mates at the boy's farewell party. They are off to some war, or some such thing. The 
details are blurry. You start to feel sick and go outside. It starts raining after 
you puke on some monk outside. After hearing some strange noises outside at some 
intersection with a sign, you head up some winding walkway. You pass out, only to 
wake up tucked in a tidy little corner, next to a vegetable patch, with a freaky 

From here, stagger your drunk self over to the other side of the veggie patch, 
occasionally puking. Go over to the scarecrow.
Here a piss-poor drunk scarecrow named "Mr. Scarecrow Birdy" teaches you all 
about "context sensitive" pads, or as we will call them, B pads.
After you sober up, you can swim. Swim over to the island, and there you will 
remember some wierd technique called the Funny Helicoptery Tail Thingy. 
Fly over to the log protruding outwards from the wall, jumping gaps, and walking 
slow when it's required. From here, you will see a gargoyle, obviously, he is very 
comfy on his little seat, so backtrack a few steps, and pull the lever that's behind 
you. A door that you passed on the way up will open, go inside. The door will lock 
behind you, and there is a key. Chase it around, and after a while, you will 
remember that you have something in your pocket that might help. After getting out, 
go back up to the gargoyle. DON'T WAIT FOR ANYTHING, JUST GO UP AND HIT HIM! After 
watching the gargoyle seriously bust his ass, a huge rock will fall in front of the 
doorway you need to go through. Get on top of the rock and use your super jump and 
the tail trick to get over to the B pad on the platform to your right.
After blowing up the rock, you will see, yet ANOTHER cinematic of the castle.
After seeing how stupid animals are, trying to put stuff on a 3 legged table, you 
will be in the Windy region with chocolate in front of you.

3.Windy region
This is where all of the worlds are connected. Go down the pathway, and to your 
right, where you will see a Queen Bee crying her fat little eyes out. After 
realizing that no marriage is perfect, go over to the stone B pad across the bridge. 
You will see Birdy again, but this time, he wants money instead of booze. $10 can 
get you a "How to do" book. You don't have it yet, so from here, make your way back 
to the walkway, but now, keep going straight to the left side of the pathway. DON'T 
TOUCH THE BARBWIRE, YOU WILL BE HURT! Walk up the path a little more, and you will 
see the bee's hive, but no wasps. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....  Walk over to the hive, and 
just run straight, and don't slow down. DO NOT RUN SIDE TO SIDE! When you come to 
that big pile of leaves in front of the barbwire, just go around. Run fast, and when 
you get to the queen bee, she will take much pleasure in exacting her revenge. From 
here, you will get $100! Now, you have the moolah that the scarecrow wants. Go back 
to him and get the guide. You may be willing to give up $10, but how does the money 
feel about it? One thing about Rare games is that, EVERYTHING has eyeballs, and 
EVERYTHING can talk. Anyone who thinks that this is a rip-off of Betty Boop, raise 
your hand. Anyway, Birdy is in for a surprise, when he finds out that this money to 
buy his Scotch with is gone. From here, go onto the B pad. Read up on the slingshot, 
and kill the dung beatles. From here, go to the side that is "pooey". Go to the 
door, and you will see that it is not yet open. So, go out, and go to the other 
Read past here to the other line in the Barn Boys chapter. When you get there, read 
past here.
When you make your way back to the "Poo-cabin", go inside,and deal with the dumb-ass 
dung beetle inside. After opening the trapdoor, you will find yourself knee-deep in 
$hit. Use the rope to climb your way VERY CAREFULLY to the middle. You should see a 
metal grate, trying to conceal chocolate. Note: Grates contain holes. A little above 
the grate, you should see a doorway......utilize your tail skills to get over there. 
From here, you should see a VERY pissy bull, whining about how he doesn't like red. 
Naturally, the game requires you to fight him, Mr. Matidor, but not just yet. Make 
your way up to the trough, but watch for falling pooballs. Make your way up to the 
faucet, and run around it to turn it on. As soon as you put 2 and 2 together, you 
need to get him to hit the target without hitting you, so stand in front of it, and 
when you see his horns at the bottom of the screen, JUMP!!!!!
After letting a cow out of it's stable, another board with a target on it will pop 
up. Here, you must utilize a technique I like to call "The Bull Shift". Run like the 
freakin' Ginger Bread Man, because 3 tons of angry beef is heading straight for your 
Boss: YAY! Our first or many bosses! This one is easy. Just stand in front of the 
target board, and when you see the bull comin' wit da horns, jump, and he sould be 
caught in the board, like the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Try your best to wrangle the 
Just calmly try to line up with the first cow. When you are lined up, press B to 
send the cow off to her tea break. After she gets "the screaming shits", she will 
run her fat self over to the grate in the middle of the arena. After you decide she 
HAS to go, line up your shot again, press B, and WHAMMO!!!!!!! Instant tenderloins.
Here, he will buck you off, but to no charge to your health. Just repeat, twice 
more. Note: The number of time you must hit goes up with each cow. After the bull 
has called himself a character from Austin Powers, he will eventually come to an end 
that is very fit, for a bull THAT pissy. From here, go down the hole that the bull 
fell down, and you will be swimming with floaties IN POO!!!!!!!! DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!
You can't dive yet, so go over to the door to you immediateleft. You should see an 
aclove with a B pad. After taking some "unperscribed medicine", you will be able to 
swim in all of the crap. Swim down to the bottom to the black hole, and your done. 
Go back down the shaft to grab the cash. You'll NEED it.
5. Barn Boys
First thing to do is to cross the river and go to the right. Here you will see a 
sick-ass mouse burping, and busting ass in peoples faces who acts alot like my 
friend, Alex Z. (I told you I would do it, Alex!) From here you will see a metal 
crate pleading with you to get his "fat-ass" wife off of his back. To do so, bypass 
the hopping crates on the other side, and go to the Cheese Corral. Stun a piece with 
your supierior frying-pan-swinging abilities. Take 3 individual pieces to the 
mouse, and he will have a big finale. After that, climb up the crates, and the storm 
drain to get the cash and press the button to open up the barn door. Here, you will 
look at your watch, and see that the poo-house should be open. Here, you have two 
choices; either finish the "Barn Boys" chapter, or drag your happy-ass over to "Bats 
Tower". If you want to go on in Barn Boys, skip over the rest of this crap. If you 
don't, read past the dotted line on Chapter 4.

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